yes... this one is empty inside. i try so hard to feel things but i can't... i don't know if i can ever become full with that part of me missing, but i am trying to live the best i can. there is nothing for me to feel anymore. nothing for me to really care about. i think the only thing i know right now is anger. anger toward my family, and anger toward a certain few friends. (dearest... you know you don't count in this category because i love you forever. that, and i already told you i wasn't mad at you.) i wonder sometimes if the one i am missing is ever thinking about me (you know who you are). does he miss me ever? mmm.... life right now is hell for me, don't want to go anywhere, or do anything, but with my family the way they are, they expect me to just move on with my life and forget. i hate that. i can't move on. i'm too empty. yeah mom... this is really keeping me safe and healthy. im crying all the time, and now im getting sick because of it. gah!!! i need to have that part of myself back, but i couldn't imagine taking it back from him. i just can't do it. luv to ya. you know i miss ya... but im empty inside (save for those brief minutes) and i guess there's nothing left for me to do, than to go back into my hell again.... i'll come out soon, but it won't be soon... luv...